Family heirlooms: what should you keep?
Clearing a parent’s home forces you to decide, in a matter of days, what matters among fifty years of objects. Here is a method for keeping only what counts, without regrets.
An object’s value is in its story, not in the object
A clock with no story is a clock. The same clock with the sentence "it is the only thing my mother took when she left her village" becomes irreplaceable.
Before sorting anything, walk through the home with the oldest person in the family and record their comments. That one-hour visit determines what to keep — and why.
Photograph instead of keeping everything
You cannot keep fifty objects per person. But you can photograph all of them, with a caption, and physically keep only a few.
This resolves most of the agonising decisions: the memory of the object survives even when the object itself is given away or sold.
- One clean shot on a neutral background, plus one of the object in its original setting.
- Three facts: whose it was, where it came from, why it mattered.
- The name of whoever received it, if the objects are being divided.
The things people almost always regret throwing out
A few categories come up again and again in regrets, often years later.
- Anything written: notebooks, letters, diaries, annotated books, handwritten recipes.
- Identity papers and military records, invaluable for genealogy.
- Clothes worn at defining events, even damaged ones.
- Work tools, which tell a working life better than any account of it.
Decide together, and in writing
Most conflicts are not about the value of objects but about the feeling of being presented with a done deal. A simple shared list where everyone writes what they would like defuses almost all of it.
When two people want the same thing, a captioned photograph and a copy each settles many cases. The rest can go to a draw, provided it was agreed in advance.
Frequently asked questions
What about objects nobody wants?
Give them to a local organisation rather than throwing them away, and photograph them first. Where they end up often matters less to the family than knowing they were useful.
Should items be appraised?
Only potentially valuable ones: jewellery, art, watches, instruments. A written appraisal prevents suspicion between heirs, which is usually worth more than its cost.
How do I take part if I live far away?
Ask for a room-by-room video walkthrough before any sorting, and agree in advance on a list of ten priority items. That is the minimum for genuinely taking part from a distance.
Solexi does not replace a legal will, a notary or a lawyer. Solexi helps you gather, organize and pass on your information.